People Who Seem to Help, or Emotional Support

I've recently discovered how incredibly uplifting it is to be with someone during hard times, to let them help me, and to feel encouraged by them. I've historically tried to do things all by myself, but that's not how it needs to be done. Or should be done. Frankly, I believe that many if life's problems can't be resolved or endured well by oneself.

I've made three observations about the people who have helped me most.

1. I love being with people who love me and not just my behavior. When I'm in trouble, I will turn to those who have loved me at my best and at my worst. I feel comfortable with them because I know that they love me. This allows me to share myself with them and not just what they want me to say or expect me to be like.

2. Those who help me tend to listen more than they offer advice. There is something relieving about sharing difficult and personal things with others, and usually people can help me most by listening and asking questions rather than telling me what I should be doing. Feeling validated is healing. Advice is wonderful, but for me it is only helpful when the setting is right and I'm ready for it. Giving advice to one who doesn't want any is akin to trying to pour water into a Tupperware that already has a lid on it.

3. People can discern much of how others feel about them. Insincerity, doubt, judgment, and distance can be felt. So can genuineness and love. When someone assumes the best of me, I feel invited to be closer to that person. I feel that I can be my best self and they will value it.