Sunday, October 20, 2013

When One's Life is a Mess

My parents are doing some renovations on their house, so they had to take everything that was stored down in the basement and put it upstairs until the renovation is finished. So, everything is everywhere. My parents are tidy and organized people, so it's pretty unusual for things to be this way; for example, we had a mattress and a box-spring just sitting in the middle of the front room because there really was nowhere else to put it.

Once the basement is finished, however, everything will be back to normal. Well, actually, it will be better than our old normal because of what my parents have planned to do to the basement. The storage capacity of the basement itself will be improved and it will be a more useful space for my parents. Everything will fit nicely and there will be plenty of room for other things as well.

C.S. Lewis:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

So, God is at work with all of us. We know that He wants us to become like Him, and that that process can be painful, perplexing, and exhausting. But when things are in flux and God is actively focusing on a particular way of making us more like Him, certain aspects of our lives (relationships, time or ability to serve, school or job opportunities, etc.) can become unorganized and can start feeling messy. This messiness can be frustrating since it only seems to have arisen because we are trying to figure out and do what God is asking us to do. So then guilt and shame set in and we feel that we are failing, even though we are just trying to keep our hand in God’s and follow His plan for us.

But, really, there is nothing wrong with having a “mattress” in one’s front room, especially when one's self is under construction. Having the faith to follow God in His way and in His time while our lives seem to be falling apart or getting messy is a manifestation of one’s deep faith in God and His purposes. God is building us and He will help us work through whatever the physical, emotional, or spiritual consequences of following Him may be. He knew that messiness would be required as our own personal remodeling is going on. And I have felt a special love and gratitude from God when we are willing to give up our want for clarity and stability, or when we are willing to give up our will, so that He can do His work.