The New T-Shirt Syndrome - Thanksgiving

The excitement and novelty of buying a new t-shirt usually wears off after wearing it once or twice. It then just becomes another one my shirts. I stop giving it extra-careful attention while doing laundry and instead start treating just like I treat any of my other clothes. I've seen this happen over and over, but I always seem to think that the next new shirt I'm about to buy at the store will make me happier than it actually does.

While studying at the required 9-week training program, a missionary did nothing but talk about how much better life would be once he was out in the area he had been assigned to. Once he was in the first neighborhood of that area, he would talk about how he hoped to be moved to a different one. Or how being home was just the thing he needed. Once home, he was certain that once he graduated from school he would be happy. Or once he was married. Or, then, once he had a family. Or once his children were older.

She didn't like herself very much. She tried to be good and to do her best, but she was always discouraged by how she never seemed to get anywhere in regards to overcoming her faults. She couldn't seem to acknowledge all that she had already learned and become as she had lived life, simply because she was looking to the future, imagining a day when she would be finally be free from her own weaknesses and stupidity.

As he looked in the mirror he was discouraged. He was still too big. Sure, he was healthier than he had ever been in his life. But, just look! Once he had lost another ten pounds, yes, that would make him feel differently.

She sat quietly as her married friends tried to get their squirmy children into their pajamas. As they asked why she wasn't dating anyone and offered suggestions, she faked a smile and gave some sort of amusing answer. Once back a home, she sat in her car long after she had pulled into the parking lot, thinking about how different and happy life would be once she was married.

Dieter Uchtdorf said:

“So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial.

“We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. 'This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,' the Psalmist wrote. 'Rejoice and be glad in it.'

“We are commanded 'to give thanks in all things.' So isn’t it better to see with our eyes and hearts even the small things we can be thankful for, rather than magnifying the negative in our current condition?

“The Lord has promised, 'He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold.'

Read Dieter Uchtdorf's complete sermon here:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/of-regrets-and-resolutions

When One's Life is a Mess

My parents are doing some renovations on their house, so they had to take everything that was stored down in the basement and put it upstairs until the renovation is finished. So, everything is everywhere. My parents are tidy and organized people, so it's pretty unusual for things to be this way; for example, we had a mattress and a box-spring just sitting in the middle of the front room because there really was nowhere else to put it.

Once the basement is finished, however, everything will be back to normal. Well, actually, it will be better than our old normal because of what my parents have planned to do to the basement. The storage capacity of the basement itself will be improved and it will be a more useful space for my parents. Everything will fit nicely and there will be plenty of room for other things as well.

C.S. Lewis:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

So, God is at work with all of us. We know that He wants us to become like Him, and that that process can be painful, perplexing, and exhausting. But when things are in flux and God is actively focusing on a particular way of making us more like Him, certain aspects of our lives (relationships, time or ability to serve, school or job opportunities, etc.) can become unorganized and can start feeling messy. This messiness can be frustrating since it only seems to have arisen because we are trying to figure out and do what God is asking us to do. So then guilt and shame set in and we feel that we are failing, even though we are just trying to keep our hand in God’s and follow His plan for us.

But, really, there is nothing wrong with having a “mattress” in one’s front room, especially when one's self is under construction. Having the faith to follow God in His way and in His time while our lives seem to be falling apart or getting messy is a manifestation of one’s deep faith in God and His purposes. God is building us and He will help us work through whatever the physical, emotional, or spiritual consequences of following Him may be. He knew that messiness would be required as our own personal remodeling is going on. And I have felt a special love and gratitude from God when we are willing to give up our want for clarity and stability, or when we are willing to give up our will, so that He can do His work. 

Guest Post: Natalie Tripp

Handling the What-Ifs

Regret is a word that instantly twists my stomach in knots. Either because a) I made a mistake and feel bad about making it and haven’t yet forgiven myself even though I’ve done my best to make the situation right again or b) because it gives me anxiety that I maybe I could have made a better choice somewhere down the line and will forever miss out on whatever opportunity I might have had. 

Opportunities come and go. There isn’t anything we can do to make sure we take every great opportunity that comes to us. But I’ve always struggled to reconcile with my past choices. I get anxiety over the “should’ve…could’ve….would’ve” moments in my life, and wonder if my life will ever be as good as it could have been if I would have just done things differently or ‘right’ the first time around, and now I must have condemned myself to a lesser state or something.

I’ve recently taken up biking, and enjoy riding around the streets of Provo. I frequently pass the construction site of the Provo Tabernacle/ City Center Temple. I often think back to the morning following the fire that destroyed the building. I was producing and anchoring a morning radio newscast and the fire was the big story of the day. A short time later, I was told that someone who dealt with security of the Tabernacle received notification that an alarm was going off in the building the night of the fire. That person checked with an advisor and was told not to worry about it. Even after a second alarm notification sounded, the warnings were left alone until it was too late. Some might say the warnings or notifications were disregarded, excused, dismissed, or "not heeded," until it was "too late." The result? One of the older church buildings of this dispensation burned into a hollow shell. 

I’m sure a number of people involved in the fire feel awful about a missed opportunity to check something that may have prevented the loss of the building. I can’t imagine the guilt and pain I might feel if I were in that situation. But less than a year later, something beautiful happened. In the 2011 October General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson announced the empty shell of the tabernacle would be restored and dedicated as a temple.

As a tabernacle the building served a wonderful role as a community gathering center for cultural performance. It was a landmark honoring the area’s faithful founders. I regret that I never took the opportunity to visit the building prior to the fire. But now as a temple this building will, in a sense, become perfect. It will be able to do so much good for so many generations of people. It will become a more holy and sacred place than it was before because of a missed opportunity.

I don’t know whether or not the church had plans to eventually turn the tabernacle into a temple and the fire just pushed those plans to the front of the line, or if the building would have just remained the great place it was before the fire. But I do look at it as an example that just because we make mistakes or we choose one good thing over another good thing does not mean that we will never be able to be as good or better than we would be if we’d chosen differently.

More recently I’ve been reviewing the last couple years of my life and wondered if I might be happier if I’d made few different decisions and avoided some mistakes. Thousands of years ago, a wise father once counseled his son “[God] shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain.” Mistakes have consequences, sometimes very serious consequences. I believe God doesn’t want us to knowingly choose the wrong path, because He understands the pain that path will cause us. But He also understands that we will make those mistakes, and we can learn and grow because of those mistakes. I’m grateful for a merciful God who can use my mistakes to turn me into something better than I was before. I believe that if I’m trying my best to do what’s right, I won’t have to wonder if I’m missing out on a better life. Just like the tabernacle, God can restore and perfect me.

Too Hard on Yourself

"If you treated your friends like you treat yourself, would you have any friends?"

-Ragan Lybbert

"We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies."

-Roderick Thorp

"Of all our infirmities, the most savage is to despise our being."

-Michel de Montaigne

"People are crying up the rich and variegated plumage of the peacock, and he is himself blushing at the sight of his ugly feet."

-Sa'Di

"Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults."

-Les Brown

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

Ether 12:27

Studying God's Words Helps Us Get to Know Him

"We can and must go often and carefully to the word of God. If we become casual in our study of the scriptures, we will become casual in our prayers. We may not cease to pray, but our prayers will become more repetitive, more mechanical, lacking real intent. Our hearts cannot be drawn out to a God we do not know, and the scriptures and the words of the living prophets help us know Him. As we know Him better, we love Him more."

-Henry Eyring (read this sermon)

Waiting

“Submitting fully to heaven’s will…is essential to removing the spiritual pavilions we sometimes put over our heads. But it does not guarantee immediate answers to our prayers.

“Abraham’s heart seems to have been right long before Sarah conceived Isaac and before they received their promised land. Heaven had other purposes to fulfill first. Those purposes included not only building Abraham and Sarah’s faith but also teaching them eternal truths that they shared with others on their long, circuitous route to the land prepared for them. The Lord’s delays often seem long; some last a lifetime. But they are always calculated to bless. They need never be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience.

“Although His time is not always our time, we can be sure that the Lord keeps His promises. For any of you who now feel that He is hard to reach, I testify that the day will come that we all will see Him face to face. Just as there is nothing now to obscure His view of us, there will be nothing to obscure our view of Him. We will all stand before Him, in person. …We want to see Jesus Christ now, but our certain reunion with Him at the judgment bar will be more pleasing if we first do the things that make Him as familiar to us as we are to Him. As we serve Him, we become like Him, and we feel closer to Him as we approach that day when nothing will hide our view.”

-Henry Eyring, member of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Read the complete sermon:
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/where-is-the-pavilion?lang=eng

I Have a Future. Right?

Sigh. I still don't know what career path to head down. And now I don't even know what direction to face. I have eagerly started down a lot of different ones, even feeling like God had led me to them, only to have opportunities fall through or me find out I don't actually want to head that way. I sometimes feel frustrated that there isn't clearer direction being given by God. And sometimes I feel like I am being left behind, stuck at the crossroads as others head off into the woods, waving goodbye to me as they walk off down their seemingly clear and exciting paths.

In response to these concerns, two experiences came to mind as I was in church the other day:

1 - A little while ago I thought I might be lactose intolerant. But, it turned out to be a corn allergy. I had assumed that my allergic symptoms were caused by one thing but they were actually the result of something else. I had assumed I knew what the problem was, but I didn't.

2 - My friend and I were driving back from the grocery store the other night when he passed the road that we normally turn down to head home. I didn't say anything. Perhaps he wanted to take the scenic route? But, as we kept going further and further in the seemingly wrong direction, I suddenly realized that I had forgotten that I had asked him to drop me off at my brother's house after we had finished shopping. I had been questioning the direction we were going because I hadn't remembered our destination.

While I may not know exactly what's going on now, a few truths have been repeatedly confirmed to me. God is my Father and He does have an individualized plan for me. He does know exactly what's going on. I may assume something is wrong, but what is currently going on might actually be exactly what needs to happen so that I can get to where God is leading me (and where I actually will want to go).

I am on earth to learn and to become like God, and nothing helps me do that more than times of trial, uncertainty, or difficulty.

And God has and does lead me through the Holy Spirit. I can clearly see how He has done that in the past. I am not where I am today because I knew where I was going; I am here because God knew where I needed to be and He knew how to get me here. He helped me make choices. He led me even when I didn't recognize that I was being led.

So, does remembering those things help me know where I'm going? No. But, it brings me peace as I remember that God knows. And He'll help me get there.

Prayer

I usually like praying. Though sometimes I anxiously feel the need to try to remind God that, despite my behavior, I actually am a good person. But, imagining that I need to convince God to love me shows that I am afraid that God can only love me if I have perfect behavior. And that simply isn't and never has been true.

I feel connected to God the most when I am just Eric. Just genuine. Because I want to follow Christ's teachings, there will always be ways to improve. But I want to, and I want to follow Him more than anything. And He knows that. So, I don't need to try to prove my heart's desires to God; He already knows that I am sincerely trying. 

One easy way to be more open with God is to tell Him about what is going on during the day. It makes it feel more like a father/son relationship. Because even though He already knows what's going on, He actually does care to hear about it. It's like when I talk to my nephews on the phone. Even though I know that they only do a couple of things every day I love to hear them describe it all. It's adorable and I love to hear them talk. Similarly, I have felt God's excitement for me as I have told Him about things I like, hate, and am doing. It helps me feel closer to Him. And coming closer to God feels good.

Learn more about prayer here.