Sigh. I still don't know what career path to head down. And now I don't even know what direction to face. I have eagerly started down a lot of different ones, even feeling like God had led me to them, only to have opportunities fall through or me find out I don't actually want to head that way. I sometimes feel frustrated that there isn't clearer direction being given by God. And sometimes I feel like I am being left behind, stuck at the crossroads as others head off into the woods, waving goodbye to me as they walk off down their seemingly clear and exciting paths.
In response to these concerns, two experiences came to mind as I was in church the other day:
1 - A little while ago I thought I might be lactose intolerant. But, it turned out to be a corn allergy. I had assumed that my allergic symptoms were caused by one thing but they were actually the result of something else. I had assumed I knew what the problem was, but I didn't.
2 - My friend and I were driving back from the grocery store the other night when he passed the road that we normally turn down to head home. I didn't say anything. Perhaps he wanted to take the scenic route? But, as we kept going further and further in the seemingly wrong direction, I suddenly realized that I had forgotten that I had asked him to drop me off at my brother's house after we had finished shopping. I had been questioning the direction we were going because I hadn't remembered our destination.
While I may not know exactly what's going on now, a few truths have been repeatedly confirmed to me. God is my Father and He does have an individualized plan for me. He does know exactly what's going on. I may assume something is wrong, but what is currently going on might actually be exactly what needs to happen so that I can get to where God is leading me (and where I actually will want to go).
I am on earth to learn and to become like God, and nothing helps me do that more than times of trial, uncertainty, or difficulty.
And God has and does lead me through the Holy Spirit. I can clearly see how He has done that in the past. I am not where I am today because I knew where I was going; I am here because God knew where I needed to be and He knew how to get me here. He helped me make choices. He led me even when I didn't recognize that I was being led.
So, does remembering those things help me know where I'm going? No. But, it brings me peace as I remember that God knows. And He'll help me get there.
"We can and must go often and carefully to the word of God. If we become casual in our study of the scriptures, we will become casual in our prayers. We may not cease to pray, but our prayers will become more repetitive, more mechanical, lacking real intent. Our hearts cannot be drawn out to a God we do not know, and the scriptures and the words of the living prophets help us know Him. As we know Him better, we love Him more."
“Submitting fully to heaven’s will…is essential to removing
the spiritual pavilions we sometimes put over our heads. But it does not
guarantee immediate answers to our prayers.
“Although His time is not always our time, we can be sure
that the Lord keeps His promises. For any of you who now feel that He is hard
to reach, I testify that the day will come that we all will see Him face to
face. Just as there is nothing now to obscure His view of us, there will be
nothing to obscure our view of Him. We will all stand before Him, in person. …We
want to see Jesus Christ now, but our certain reunion with Him at the judgment
bar will be more pleasing if we first do the things that make Him as familiar
to us as we are to Him. As we serve Him, we become like Him, and we feel closer
to Him as we approach that day when nothing will hide our view.”
