When It Is Hard To Wait, or Claim the Exceeding Great and Precious Promises

http://lds.org/liahona/2007/11/claim-the-exceeding-great-and-precious-promises?lang=eng&query=elder+condie+promises

Meet Boo, or I Want To Go To Busch Gardens!

This is Boo. He's such dear and clever child. He loves to go to Busch Gardens. He loves to see all the animals and he knows a lot about them. Busch Gardens is a big deal. He even dreams about it sometimes.

Sometimes Boo wants to go to Busch Gardens but there are other things to do that day, or the plan is to go on Saturday instead of on Tuesday. He will get to go eventually, but when it's best for everyone in his family.

Boo doesn't like to get his fingernails clipped. He hates it. However, if his mom and dad didn't clip his fingernails just because he didn't want them to, they would actually stop doing something that just simply must be done. Also, they would be doing him no favors by giving into his demands to not take naps, to only eat popsicles, or to play with cutlery or fragile things. At this stage in his life, Boo doesn't necessarily know what is best for him. He certainly knows what he likes and what he thinks is best, but his parents can see the danger in sometimes giving him exactly what he wants when he wants it.

The parallel is clear. We may feel that the very best thing for us right now is being withheld by God. Perhaps we desperately want to find our "someone." Perhaps we are struggling with health challenges, emotional or physical, that seem to rule our lives. Or we struggle seeing loved ones suffer and lose their faith or their purpose in life. The difficult thing is knowing that God has promised He can do anything but He's not giving us what we feel we want and need more than anything else. 

But, God is the Perfect Parent. He knows us individually. He knows Boo. He knows how much Boo loves Busch Gardens, what his favorite animal is, how Boo loves Dopey from Snow White, and that Boo gets so excited each time he hears a fire engine. God loves us each in the very same way. He knows our heartaches and our desires, and tenderly acknowledges them. But, at this stage of life we do not fully understand what is best for us. We certainly know what we like and what we think is best, but God can see the reason why it isn't time to give us all we want and need right now. It is so critically important to know God at times like these. Not to just know about Him, but to know and trust Him. To trust that He really does want us to be happy, to trust that He really does love us.

I know with a knowledge that is deep, real, and personal that God is our loving Father. He withholds those things we want so dearly because He knows what is good for us and when it will be right and best for us to receive what we want. I know that He weeps with us when we suffer. He wants nothing more than for us to be happy. But, He wants us to be happy for forever. He knows what we will need to learn in order to enjoy perfect happiness. This life is not the reward; it is the test. But, what wonderful comfort we can feel as we remember that God is leading us through it. He's leading us back to Him.

Meet Babykins, or Lessons From Learning to Walk

Meet Babykins. He's such a kind and warm child. He's also very determined. There are lots of lessons about life and our relationship with God to be learned from children.  

Babykins is learning to walk.

-1- Babykins' parents do not get mad at him when he stumbles. They are not disappointed that he isn't a perfect walker yet. They know perfectly well that he will learn how.They are very familiar with the whole "learning to walk" thing and understand that it is a process. There are no expectations for perfection. God is no different. He sent us to earth to gain experience and to be changed through that experience. He has no expectation for immediate perfection. That's the ultimate goal and reality, but certainly not even a possibility in the present.  

-2a- Even though Babykins is learning to walk and focusing on that, he's still developing in other ways. He likes to make sounds and talk on the phone, to try new foods, and to play new things with his brother. His overall progress has not halted because he hasn't learned to walk perfectly. He'll learn. We're all struggling through our individual challenges. While they must be worked through, God can still help us learn and develop in other ways while we work on those things.

-2b- Focusing solely on our problems is unhealthy. It's not helpful or appropriate to identify ourselves as a problem or a concern or a behavior. Babykins is not a "learning to walk" or  a "sometimes falls down,"  just as we are not a "temper," an "addiction," a "health concern," a "lazy attitude," or a "weakness." We may have some of those things; we are children of God. God's love for us and our relationship to Him does not change based on what we do or struggle with. Babykins will always be his parents' child. And they will always, always love him, no matter how many times he stumbles.

-3- The only thing that will keep Babykins from learning to walk is if he stops trying. If he got discouraged and lost hope that he would be able to learn to walk, and then refused to even try, he would never learn. But, he hasn't done that. Each time he falls, he just crawls to a desk or a chair and pulls himself up. He's even learned to stand up without any support now! For us, the only thing that will keep us from becoming like God and living with Him again is to get discouraged and to lose hope that the future can be different from our present. If we sit down and refuse to try to follow Christ and to let Him help us back up, we won't live with God again. All God wants us to give Him is ourselves. He has asked for our hearts. Along with our hearts comes our lives, our actions and decisions. If we will keep trying, I know that the Lord will help us. He does strengthen those who trust Him and in His ability to keep His promises. I know that, just as I know that we can be changed and healed as we just keep having the faith in Him to repent and obey over and over and over again.

The Birthday Party, by Katharine Brush

They were a couple in their late thirties, and they looked unmistakably married. They sat on the banquette opposite us in a little narrow restaurant, having dinner. The man had a round, self-satisfied face, with glasses on it; the woman was fadingly pretty, in a big hat.

There was nothing conspicuous about them, nothing particularly noticeable, until the end of their meal, when it suddenly became obvious that this was an Occasion—in fact, the husband’s birthday, and the wife had planned a little surprise for him.

It arrived, in the form of a small but glossy birthday cake, with one pink candle burning in the center. The headwaiter brought it in and placed it before the husband, and meanwhile the violin-and-piano orchestra played “Happy Birthday to You,” and the wife beamed with shy pride over her little surprise, and such few people as there were in the restaurant tried to help out with a pattering of applause. It became clear at once that help was needed, because the husband was not pleased. Instead, he was hotly embarrassed, and indignant at his wife for embarrassing him.

You looked at him and you saw this and you thought, “Oh, now, don’t be like that!” But he was like that, and as soon as the little cake had been deposited on the table, and the orchestra had finished the birthday piece, and the general attention had shifted from the man and the woman, I saw him say something to her under his breath—some punishing thing, quick and curt and unkind. I couldn’t bear to look at the woman then, so I stared at my plate and waited for quite a long time. Not long enough, though. She was still crying when I finally glanced over there again. Crying quietly and heartbrokenly and hopelessly, all to herself, under the gay big brim of her best hat.

Copyright © 1946 The New Yorker. All rights reserved.

Originally published in The New Yorker.

Timing

This is a very good talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks that was given at a BYU Devotional in 2003.

https://lds.org/liahona/2003/10/timing?lang=eng&signmein#footnote1-23990_000_005

Re-post from 5/23/11: What Rain and Challenges Do

I've been thinking about this topic recently and wanted to share again some of my thoughts about how trials are actually beautiful and loving blessings from God.  I am so grateful for who I have become as I have gone through difficult things.

It was sunny yesterday and today. That’s a big deal. It seems like it has been raining for weeks and weeks. It normally doesn’t rain this much here. I was so happy to go outside and see the blue sky.

I realized though that I have lived through many sunny days and never realized how great they were or how blue the sky was, or anything. If it’s been sunny for a long time, I stop noticing sun. Rainy days, along with making the plants nice and green and everything, help me appreciate sunny days. Without rainy days, the beauty outside would disappear.
 

It seems that most people I know are going through really difficult things. Maybe it’s because I’m growing up and becoming more aware of others and their lives, but I don’t remember this many people going through this many challenges before. But, I’ve learned from my own experience that challenges are some of the greatest blessings God gives us. One of the purposes of our experience here on earth is to gain experience in order to change our character, who we are. God wants us to become like Him, to enjoy all the blessings He enjoys. But, we aren’t yet. So, He sent us to earth to learn by experience and to progress.
 

Challenges will both teach us wonderful things and help us develop deep relationships with God and Jesus as we work through them. Or they will destroy us. They can turn us to God in humility or turn us away from Him feeling hurt. It can sometimes feel that He has given us too much to handle or that He isn’t giving the help that we need. But, as I look back on the past few months, I see that that God was right there with me through all of my challenges. There were times that, in those moments, I didn’t know where He was. But, He was with me. He was supporting me and helping me and giving me strength to try again and again. I know that as we accept the help of Jesus Christ, He will carry what we cannot. He will fill our hearts with peace and reassurance. He will let us know that He knows how we're feeling and He'll encourage and love us. He knows us. And He knows how to help us. He knows what we, together, can handle. He understands how hard things can be for us. He is patient and compassionate. He's willing to work with us where we are, as we are.

The more we know about our purpose in life and God’s love for us, the more we can understand challenges. Challenges help us appreciate life and who God is. Challenges are rainy days. They actually are beautiful blessings that help us recognize all that God does for us; they help us learn and become more like Him. Many of them take a long time to work through. But, I know that if we will not give up on Jesus Christ, we will make it though them eventually. The trick is just to hold on to Him when it seems that we may not be able to hold on for much longer. But, He can help you hold on. And He will. 

To learn more about the purpose of challenges, go here to learn more about God’s plan for our progression and happiness: http://mormon.org/plan-of-happiness/

People Who Seem to Help, or Emotional Support

I've recently discovered how incredibly uplifting it is to be with someone during hard times, to let them help me, and to feel encouraged by them. I've historically tried to do things all by myself, but that's not how it needs to be done. Or should be done. Frankly, I believe that many if life's problems can't be resolved or endured well by oneself.

I've made three observations about the people who have helped me most.

1. I love being with people who love me and not just my behavior. When I'm in trouble, I will turn to those who have loved me at my best and at my worst. I feel comfortable with them because I know that they love me. This allows me to share myself with them and not just what they want me to say or expect me to be like.

2. Those who help me tend to listen more than they offer advice. There is something relieving about sharing difficult and personal things with others, and usually people can help me most by listening and asking questions rather than telling me what I should be doing. Feeling validated is healing. Advice is wonderful, but for me it is only helpful when the setting is right and I'm ready for it. Giving advice to one who doesn't want any is akin to trying to pour water into a Tupperware that already has a lid on it.

3. People can discern much of how others feel about them. Insincerity, doubt, judgment, and distance can be felt. So can genuineness and love. When someone assumes the best of me, I feel invited to be closer to that person. I feel that I can be my best self and they will value it.